New Moon January 9th 2016

January 9th marks the first New Moon of 2016 and it is all going down in the sign of Capricorn.

Capricorn is not exactly known for its freewheeling ways and frankly, that is ok. The energy of the goat is exactly what we need right now.

After the sequins, confetti and champagne of the new year now is the time that we bring our feet back down to earth and start making a plan for the new year. Capricorn is the steadfast workhorse of the zodiac. They know what they want and they have no troubles with busting their ass to get it. Like the goats that scale impractical terrain on the cliff side of a mountain there is nothing that Capricorn cannot do when it sets its mind to something.

Think of what you can do with this energy! 

Its time to make a game plan.

What resolutions have already started to flitter out this first week of the new year? Which were meant to? Now we are being called to take a hard look at what it is that we desire to make of 2016. This is the year we are reminded that what we do or do not accomplish is direction proportionate to the amount of effort that we put into our lives. There are quite a few of us who will face each day, week and month on auto pilot; doing the same things over and over again.

But not us. We know that January holds mega magic and its all right there for the taking. We need only hold out our hands and grab a handful.

Let’s use this energy to our advantage.

So write yourself a letter. Tell yourself just what you are capable of. Just what you can do with this year if you already knew that you couldn’t fail. And you know what? Remind yourself that even if you do fail it doesn’t matter-at least you were doing SOMETHING. In my book that is far better than doing NOTHING.

Fill this letter to the brim of empowerment letting yourself know just how bodacious and fucking fabulous you are. And then write yourself one back.

Honor that awesome Goddess within who likes to remind you that you are more than your ego, more than your insecurities. Let her know that you are no slouch and that this year you’ve got plans. Big plans.

Make a list.

What are those plans? Get detailed. Get fancy. Grab yourself an awesome journal and some pens that beg to be written with and begin to make a list of the things you want to do this year. Large and small. Important and trivial. Rock some serious pie eyes here and dream BIG. Chances are you are going to never run out of things to write once this energy gets flowing so stop when you feel called.

Now, even though you likely have things written that there are not enough days in the year to accomplish this list brings it all front and center. You can then take this list and organize it. What do you want at the top of that list? What can you weed out and put on a list to go in the treasure box for another time to be added to another list? This is where you get more discerning-do you really want to lose 10lbs or do you just feel that you “should”. Be merciless – if it doesn’t really seem to excite you deep within your being then get rid of it for another time. Its not that it doesn’t have meaning, its just not for you right now.

Now its time to put together a plan of action.

Get in touch with those who have done what you want to do. Ask them what they have to share about accomplishing this goal. What did they learn? What do they wish they did differently?

Asking those who have attained what you desire is a fantastic way to get a handle of practical things you can do to make things happen. They are a pool of resources and information that is priceless.

Find your tribe and thrive!

Now surround yourself with others who are as dedicated to their advancement and well being as you are. It doesn’t matter if your goal is to be fearless and expansive or to score a 6 figure promotion. Find your tribe and learn the value of support in being surrounded by those who share your goal.

Lastly show yourself some love. Write a letter to yourself every time you feel like giving up. Write a letter to yourself just because. Take some time to honor your hard work and daring with some sacred self-care. You have an immeasurable amount of power contained within.

Starting these projects now and getting serious about accomplishing them means that we are not the salmon who is trying to swim upstream. We have a vast amount of energy that the Universe is extending to us to help us get things done and not a moment too soon.

While Mercury may be retrograde that is not the only transit of relevance this New Year. This New Moon may very well set the tone for the remainder of your year. It’s a day wherein you can say goodbye to limits of the past and sashay into 2016 with a renewed sense of power and capability. What would you do if you knew that even if you failed you would still succeed?

Happy New Moon, loves!

4 Tips For Dealing With A Back And Forth Lover

Involved With A Back & Forth Lover? Those lovers who cannot manage to stay in your life consistently but instead float in and out on a schedule which fits them? They want you one moment and the next you cannot get them to return your call?

Sound familiar? I thought so.

It’s massively frustrating to be in a relationship where it’s one emotional roller coaster after another. One moment you are up, the next you are down! One moment all is right as rain and you think a corner has been turned and then the next he tells you he doesn't know what he wants. Trouble is he does know what he wants and also what he doesn't. If he wanted all of you, lock, stock, and barrel and was prepared to give as much as he took he would have done so by now. Granted, there are exceptions to this rule, and sometimes they just need a swift kick in the butt to get moving, but generally speaking if you are busy giving to a fault and he is taking all that you offer-- your giving more isn't going to change this pattern. The real kicker here, however, is not so much that they do it as it is that we allow it. We are part of the problem (GASP!). There are many out there who will take what they can get, and if they can get it without having to give back or otherwise alter their lives to make room for you and your needs, they will do that too. We end up bending over backwards because we become conditioned to believe that “something is better than nothing”, and in our minds eventually they will follow our lead and begin to tend to our needs as we tend to theirs.

Women in love tend to be doers...we want something we go for it. We see a problem; we fix it, even if it means swallowing our pride or otherwise compromising so as to keep the peace. Typically this would be an amazing quality, when employed correctly! When employed incorrectly, say for someone who cannot see to decide if they are in or if they are out, it ends up setting up a pattern where they feel quite free to come and go as they please. If you are intent on giving you feed their intent to take. If you allow them to waltz through the door after going MIA again you are inviting them to leave again.

You may not like the implication of our own involvement in this cycle but it is true none the less and harnessing the awareness of your own role in this story will help you to reverse dangerous trends.

You do not deserve someone who is around when it’s convenient for them, or when they need something. You do not deserve someone who suddenly goes MIA when you start to address the imbalance or speak of evolution between you two. You deserve someone who is going to give, as consistently and ardently, as you do. If they are not doing that then trust me, employing the same methods is not going to garner you different results.

There are ways to shift the situation. There are ways to promote change to the situation through the changes you implement within yourself. I’ve compiled a few tips for beginning the shift. These are tried and true methods that vary between long term and short term solvency to the issue of an inconsistent lover.

1) Do not let him call your bluff! If he goes MIA or otherwise develops a case of the "confused" do not draw the line in the sand, saying you will not tolerate this, only to take a few steps back when he does it, draw the line again and expect him to take you seriously this time. He WONT, and rightfully so. If he can get away with this behavior without recourse he will continue to do it.

2) Do not give to a fault. A good rule of thumb in any relationship is never to give more than you get. If he can barely muster a two sentence reply to an email do not send him a tome. If he finds that he can only take the time to call you two days after your message do not feel obligated to pick up on the first ring, or even the second or third...which is a good lead in to....

3) Do not be readily available to him all the time!!! This is especially true for when they decide to grace you with their presence after ripping the rug out from under you. You should not feel obligated to take their communication immediately. He should not be sitting back confidently feeling that you are still there, frenetically waiting for the call! That arrogance and lack of genuine fear of losing you is what is fueling his behavior to start with!

4) It’s one thing to compromise, it’s another thing to compromise yourself. You can sit back taking all of this back and forth, hot and cold on the chin but in the end you will end up bruised and mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. Never place a relationship with another above the one you have with yourself. If you are not being treated with respect and fairness do not sit back and take it! You have to be your own advocate!

Navigating the landscape of a relationship is never an easy task and it’s made especially difficult in cases where you are dealing with someone who meanders in and out of your life. We all want to be with that “special” someone but ultimately we need to realize the most important and special relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves. If you are being swung back and forth by a lover who doesn’t seem to respect how his (or her) actions affect you then please begin to get yourself in check. No emotion is worth losing sight of what truly matters—your health and happiness.

If you find that your relationship is taking similar twists and turns such as those described here feel free to send me an email. I would love the chance to take a look into your relationship and do a profile to help you navigate the situation. Remember: a reading should not just be prediction vomiting. Your reader should be able to provide you with tools and insight which guides you, enabling you to empower yourself and also bring about a path that suits your needs.