We are close to the arrival of February and with that an increased focus on partnership. The pursuit of love is a path we all travel, sometimes many times over. It also happens to be my specialty and the foundation of my work with manifesting. But this is not your mama’s manifesting which I am sure many of you have tried with little to no lasting results.
I know because I was there. Reading and absorbing everything I could on my own pursuit of lasting, healthy love. I found myself more frustrated than satisfied. More hopeless than hopeful that true and lasting love was possible for me. Finally, I tossed aside all the books and everything I had “learned” about manifesting and embarked on my own journey.
Through my journey I discovered that manifesting is a lot more than the spiritually bypassing “believe it and you will see it” culture so popular and so oft repeated. In fact, most of what I had learned and what I continue to see on blogs and in books everywhere is a very watered down, “let’s get them hooked through instant gratification” version of manifesting that frankly does this art a great disservice.
It was through this deep, honest and personal journey that I discovered The Process, a thoroughly modern, distilled and pragmatic means through which we manifest what we desire in a way that provides both sustainable attraction and long-lasting change to our lives. The Process helps us to authentically manifest very real, very tangible things in our life and there is no place more deserving, and more wanted, of this tried and true form of manifesting than our personal romantic relationships.
The best part is that regardless of where you are in your manifesting journey, be it a complete novice or a seasoned student, you can apply the following 5 principals to begin to see genuine and authentic opening where relationships are concerned.
So, let’s get started!
Worth • Here is the deal the axiom “we must be in vibrational alignment” simply refers to our being rooted in high self-worth. For many of us, especially when it comes to love and its cousin money, we are rooted in low self-worth trying to attract high-self-worth experiences. This is what is meant by being out of vibrational alignment with that which we seek. One of the very first things I guide my clients through in The Process is an in-depth exploration of self-worth. By magnetizing this area and removing blocks which have kept us rooted in low self-worth we begin to shift how easeful we are capable of attracting quality people to us. It’s important to note that many of these subconscious beliefs around worth are created in our formative years and center heavily around our caretakers and the life experiences during this time. If you need help uncovering and reprogramming these beliefs you may wish to work with someone who can guide you. This is a fundamental step, however, as when our self-worth is low we find this reflected in the people who are drawn to us. It’s not that we are not worthy of high quality, healthy and beautiful people and relationships! It’s that we must believe and be so firmly rooted in the high self-worth that we ARE in fact worthy of this in order for these people and relationships to enter our lives.
Know what you want and also what you don’t • I know this is going to go against a lot of what we have been taught and had beaten into our minds regarding manifesting but it’s high time we debunk this myth. The root of all of our manifesting comes from the highly generative subconscious, NOT our thoughts. Ergo you are not going to manifest what you don’t want by thinking about it. You manifest what you don’t want by having a subconscious which is heavily rooted in limiting beliefs, all of which center around your being unable, unworthy or incapable of having that which you desire.
But I digress.
Back to the point at hand which is that clarity of vision is paramount to manifesting what you desire. You cannot possibly draw towards you what is still unformed within. Knowing the type of partner, you are looking for (adventurous, compassionate, conscious), how you wish to feel by your him/her (supported, loved, accepted) as well as what you don’t want (liars, cheaters, unwilling to commit) is central to forming a list that encapsulates what you are and are not looking for. This list then serves as your petition to the subconscious, to the Universe, of what you desire and are calling forth. It is worth noting in this section that you cannot manifest someone into loving or finally committing to you. You can only manifest for the self so save yourself the time and the creation of more low self-worth. If someone needs to be manifested or otherwise led into loving you then they are not worthy of the love you provide.
Think small • This is really the only time that anyone will ever hear me encourage anyone to think small but when it comes to manifesting it is exactly the medicine we need. When I was first manifesting love I was all about the destination. Sound familiar? We want a healthy relationship, lots of passion, intimacy, loyalty in the form of readily available and unwavering commitment. We want the marriage and the white picket fence with 2.5 kids. All of this is great and a wonderful stretch goal but the truth is when I was trying to manifest these things I hadn’t been on a date in over 6 months! Making this list of what I wanted a bit out of reach vibrationally and practically. I had to start first with manifesting dating experiences. By opening up the pathways for energy to flow through these dating experiences I was moving myself closer and closer to the ultimate goal; making manifesting that a lot more practical than when I hadn’t been out on a date in half a year. Take your big goal and begin chunking it down until you have several smaller goals. These are exponentially easier to manifest and draw towards you and as these things are manifested you find you are organically and very efficiently moving yourself closer to ultimate goal. Think of manifesting like a recipe. You have to follow the steps in the order they are provide if you want that dish to taste sublime.
Be prepared for the tests • When I was first manifesting a partner, I was surprised to see how many ex-lovers and those people who almost fit my list, but not quite, started to roll into my life. It took me off my game for a while because I saw the arrival of old lovers as a sign. Maybe they were ready! Or maybe I was being tested.
Same goes for when someone who almost fit my list would arrive on the scene. I would allow self-doubt to tell me I was being too picky or that I shouldn’t let a good one go because who knows if this is it. Nope, I was being tested. The Universe will test us with the proverbial carrot to test our resolve. Are we fully rooted in our worth and not willing to settle for less than what we know we deserve? Do we want a partner more than we want the self-respect of fully intact self-worth? Are we willing to settle for less?
Don’t worry if you have “failed” a test, I failed many. It may set us back a bit but it does not in any way shape or form mean that we have failed the art of manifesting. It simply means we must get even more dialed into what we desire as well as our self-worth so that when the next test arrives we pass with flying colors.
Be ready to receive • Knowing what you want and also what you don’t want, getting dialed into a stronger level of self-worth and being prepared for those tests are all great and needed. But what happens when we have a bunch of limiting beliefs that still obstruct the path? It’s imperative to explore, discover and reprogram limiting beliefs that keep you from being fully open to receiving healthy romantic experiences. If we believe we are not worthy of love or that we are not good at love or that love is something that happens for other people but not us, then guess what? Those beliefs will block our progression as well as the progression of healthy romantic experiences from reaching us.
Our subconscious beliefs serve as the programming we upload to the computer of our brain. These beliefs program our brain on what information to accept and process and what information to ignore and reject. This is a necessary function of our brain as it is subjected to millions of bits of information every minute and cannot possibly take in and process all of it. It is our beliefs which then inform our brain on what information to accept. So, if you believe you are not worthy of love your brain will only seek out and accept only information which affirms this and reject the plethora of evidence to the contrary.
We are all here with ample love to give and want to be seen, valued and loved for who we are. Manifesting this in a partner and a relationship is absolutely possible when we take the time to move through The Process. It may require a bit more work than the standard “just think it into being” but I promise you it equally brings far more sustainable satisfaction and results.